Years ago, someone suggested to me that I write a letter to my parents, thanking them in detail for all that they’d done for me. This recommendation caught me a bit by surprise at the time, but I decided to do it, and I wrote a very nice letter of thanks and gratitude to my parents, and then I mailed it to them.
I don’t remember in looking back now, whether or not they said something to me about having received it, and if they did, that probably came from my Mom, as she was the one who would have been more likely than my Dad to have said something about this to me.
Although I’ve always loved my Dad, and he and I were great friends, it’s just not a subject that a father growing up when my father did would normally openly discuss with his son, as men from his generation were oftentimes taught to not go to that kind of a place in conversation. Then when you combine this with the fact that my parents were born in Great Britain, and within the “keep a stiff upper lip” kind of culture, now it’s even less likely that my Dad would have openly brought this subject up with me.
So then I continued on for maybe 9 more years after I had sent my parents that letter, not really thinking about it, and then, after 9 years, my Dad died.
Then soon afterwards, when I was going through his belongings, I noticed that he had a box where he kept things that were personally important to him, and I was stunned when I saw that there in that box, was the letter that I had written to him and my Mom some 9 years earlier.
I gasped when I saw it there, because again, nothing had been said by him to me about ever having received the letter, and here it was, all these years later, sitting in the box where he kept the things that were the most important to him.
So right then and there, I knew that my letter had a big impact on him.
I’m bringing this up because as we grow up and mature through life, doing something like this oftentimes never even crosses our mind, yet for most of us, our parents have had a big impact on our lives.
When people who are parents today have children who have grown up, and who are now adults, and the parents recognize that they are now closer to the end of their own lives than they are to the beginning of it, it can be easy for them to begin taking an inventory of their life, and wondering if they’ve lived a good one, and have made a difference in the world.
And also, they may reflect on wondering whether or not they’ve been good parents.
So if a parent then receives a letter like this one from their adult child, with the letter thanking the parent for all that the parent has done for the child, this can then really help the parent to recognize that they have lived a good life, and that they’ve done something good and wonderful in raising their child, and this feeling, to a parent, can be amazing.
So with this in mind, if one or both of your parents are still living, do you want to write a letter like this one to them? It may not feel 100% comfortable at first, but the chances are very, very high that the letter will be extremely well received by your parents, and that it will warm their heart, and make them feel good about what they’ve accomplished through raising you.
This can make a huge difference to them, and it will also put you in touch with the many things that your parents have done for you, ever since you were very young, that have helped you to become the person you are today.
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